Tijuana, Mexico 2010

I haven't been to Tijuana since 1998. Today I went with my girl and Michael the pickpocket from KOOZA. I remember walking over the border and having food and beers and buying leather beer holsters and seeing how dirty everything was.

Today our goal was relaxation and the joy of introducing an entertainer from Sweden to a California classic: TJ.
Now Monday is not the "party day" for twenty somethings to guzzle tequila and hit the strip clubs and the whole beheading on the Texas border has people skittish. But really. What has ever happened in Tijuana? More Mexican drug wars happen in Arizona than in Mexico!

Everyone will be happy to know TJ is the same. Monday was quiet.
It's hard to NOT look like you don't know where you're going when you are the only backpack wearing Caucasians on the streets and every street vendor is beguiling you with sunglasses and pictures of Homer Simpson as Scarface.

The first thing our Swedish friend noticed was how "interactive" the vendors and restaurant hawkers were in getting our attention to turn us into their shops.

"Come on in! We have all kinds of things you don't need."

I recommended Michael to pretend he's in a virtual reality video game where he entered his personal info and even the taxis pull over and say, "Hey want a ride amigos?" We found a nice place (attached to a hotel) so it MUST be healthier!
The only thing repelling me from this nice place was the blaring mariachis who seemed to be torturing a small family by the looks on the family's faces. We chose health over auditory relaxation and then spent the duration of our time banishing would be entertainers with a firm, but kind, "No musica. Gracias."

We had a delicious meal and many margaritas (of low alcohol content) for a nominal fee.
After our meal we took a pleasant walk around the neighborhood and the less tourist driven areas where we were able to buy some curios and yummy Mexican Coca-Cola which tastes sweeter than that in the U.S.
And we soon made our way past the tequila deals, Sombrero Porky Pigs, and Viagra vendors back to the border. I must say TJ is cleaner now than it was years ago. We probably saw five other Americans in the downtown area itself.
We did have to wait in line for Michael's I-94 to be replaced by a nice border agent behind the counter whose main question to Michael after knowing he's an international entertainer was, "Do you know any jokes?" (This made me think of memorizing a horrendously offensive joke to use only on airplanes when someone inevitably says, "You're a comedian...tell me a joke!")

After the nicest border agent got us through to the next level the final checkpoint person asked complicated questions to me like ,"What do you get with V.I.P tickets for Cirque du Soleil?". Answering that we were back in U.S.

"It's so nice to be back on this side." Michael said.
Mission accomplished.
Our friend was given the great TJ experience and we had a relaxing time.

TJ was fine, but now that we have to wait in a security line like at an airport it is NOT the care free drinking and party place that it once was. Worth the trip? Only if you're taking a Swede.

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